I’m trying to slow my roll. I seem to prefer running or laying on the ground with no in-between. I’m aware it’s a problem, so I’m kicking it to the curb. From now on, I’m going to enforce time limits on joyful activities. My off switch is defective. I need to cut back on reading novels, for starters. I should limit myself to four books a month, or two if they’re longer than Atlas Shrugged.
Reading is a poor substitute for sleep. The consequences are presently kicking my ass. It irks me. If I were in charge, joyfulness binging would have only minor repercussions. Like a headache, or something. Not a sudden and drastic increase in the effects of gravity. Today, I think if God existed, life wouldn’t hurt so much. I wouldn’t have a permanent ball of agony in my gut from the things I’ve seen us do to one another.
The thing in me that’s supposed to distance and shield me from reality has never worked. No miraculous last minute raising of shields to protect the ship, Captain. I go down in flames every time. I’m no Phoenix. It’s harder to convince myself to rise from the ashes each time. I have to pay with part of my soul, and I’m not infinite. I’m small but luminous just the same.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to build for my new client. I believe Keith McMillen already created what he needs. The QuNeo. All that remains is learning how to use the shit out of it. With one hand, and both feet. Because SoftStep also exists. I already own a QuNexus. They had me at, “We even ran over it with our truck, and it didn’t break” (paraphrased.) Keith McMillen is a genius. The only negative reviews on their gear are from noobs who refuse any learning curve, even when it’s amazingly innovative gear. (Major eye roll.)
Fortunately, we can geek out on FaceTime rather than me continuing to fly back and forth. I’ve named my client, Guitar Hero. He’s a trip, but he doesn’t go overboard. I think he knows instinctively I’d shut him down like a Drill Sgt. if he overstepped. The Army gave me abundant opportunities to practice my banter with men, and what to do when someone plays too much. It’s one of very few pros of living in the same building with 200-ish men around 18-years-old. (I also never had to kill a spider.)
Guitar Hero is excited because he’s a musician through and through. I ordered the SoftStep and QuNeo from Musicians Friend. Then I asked him if he has a computer. He said yes, but he was mistaken. He has a relic. So I ordered him a 15″ MacBook Pro with maxed out specs. (They’re a nightmare to DIY upgrade. Thanks, Apple.) It has the touch bar and is lovely Space Gray colored. He tried to pay me for it! I should have told him to send any payment to Stevie Nicks. (Makes a note.)
I explained I’m paying it forward both literally and figuratively, (because that’s how I do life, apparently.) He tried to say some shit about his being financially set. I told him I think that’s terrific, but it’s irrelevant. I guess he figures since he’s rich, he doesn’t get the same benefits as someone who isn’t rich where gifting is concerned, or something equally ridic. Guitar Hero earned money for his efforts. Yay. (That’s how America is supposed to work.) I think he’s amused, but he’s letting me do it my way. His money didn’t make his guitar playable (at his skill level) with a single hand. (Too subtle?)
When I configured his MacBook Pro online, I couldn’t help but notice the new iMac Pro tab taunting me. I gave it the finger. I’d love one, but I can’t justify ownership by a longshot. It’s a Lamborghini whereas I only need a skateboard. An updated Mac Mini with Thunderbolt 3 and a new CPU wouldn’t kill you though, would it, Apple? Also, stop selling computers with 8 GB of RAM or less. It’s just petty. P-to-the-E-T-T-Y, honey.
It should all arrive sometime next week. Then I’ll be pacing myself while we delve deep into the new gear. I figure one or two hours at a time, tops. I’ll keep checking in with Guitar Hero to see if he’s still having fun. His existing knowledge from his decades as a guitarist is extensive. I’m probably going to learn at least as much. There are so many nuances when you master an instrument. The only limitation is our imagination, thanks to Keith McMillen and existing software. I’m super excited but focused on pacing. I’m off to watch Stevie Nicks footage on YouTube. 💜