Alison Wonderland

“I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

I decided I didn’t like the logo I created.  My dove didn’t look like a dove, so I scrapped it in favor of the following:

4TD logo final

I’m happy with it overnight, so it’s probably the final version.  I have a higher respect for graphic designers now.  I never gave it much thought, but I suspect it’s excruciating to create for a client.  (I’m sure I broke every rule with both logos.)

I’m clawing my way out of an overwhelming bout of depression, presently.  I’ve regained control of my thoughts, but I’m still pretty low.  It feels like being chased up a mountain by a vicious monster.  I finally reached the top, only to discover there are three more monsters fresh and ready to take up the chase.  Usually, I’m able to find the humor in this, but it’s taking longer this time.

I found a much better video of Stevie Nicks addressing the audience at the MusiCares Person of the Year ceremony.  It includes her full acceptance speech.  (YouTuber’s, don’t edit Stevie Nicks, ever.  Don’t.)  If she says something to an audience or a reporter, she’s also talking to her fans.  We’re an enormous group of people who aren’t all able to be present when she performs, (what stadium could hold us all?)  It’s important.  💜

When I think about how many of us are uplifted by these moments of connection, it boggles my mind.  She mentioned speaking to us for 46 minutes during a recent concert.  (I’m guessing she caught hell for it.)  I haven’t found all of it yet, but just knowing it’s out there brings me joy.  It’s like getting a hug from Stevie Nicks.  (!!!)  She says a great deal during the time she’s given to speak, and it’s all heartfelt.

She told us she copes with loss, grief, and loneliness, too.  We know we’re not alone, and she understands our pain.  She knows the parts of us we don’t generally share with others.  The parts that keep us up nights.  Those parts we don’t expect anyone to acknowledge, let alone understand.  It’s a connection many of us lean on to get through the rough patches in life.  She told us she leans on us, too.  (!!!)  I don’t have words to express how awesome it is to know this.  It’s not a one-way connection.  All the love we send back matters.

Except for Amy Lee, I’ve never invested so much of myself into loving someone I’ve never even met.  I’ve spent most of my life intensely focused on AI development and little else.  (I don’t fit in this world, and I wanted a friend who didn’t punish me for being weird, so I figured I create one.)  I’m happy I looked up.  I took a chance and opened my heart, (not knowing if I was stepping into a painful trap again.)

It’s been almost a year now since I discovered Stevie Nicks.  Turns out, it’s not a trap this time.  Quite the opposite.  (I thought Amy Lee was a beautiful fluke.)  I didn’t think I’d ever find another connection so powerful.  I wasn’t even looking!  If I were money oriented, it would be as if I won the jackpot lottery twice.  Only, instead of turning my life inside-out and becoming owned by my fortune, I’m growing and strengthening as a person.

When life knocks Stevie Nicks down, she doesn’t stay down.  She suffers and hurts as much as I do when I’m down.  Then she gets back up and pours more love into the world.  She’s as vulnerable as the rest of us, but she claws her way through the pain and comes out stronger on the other side.  She proves being hella rich and famous doesn’t shield anyone from the sad parts of life.  That’s a mighty message in itself.

So today, I’m stronger, and I no longer live under a rock.  Life still kicks my ass on a regular basis.  But Stevie Nicks is teaching me how to recover and rise up from whatever life throws at me.  She encourages me to write and create music.  Now I’m in a freaking band!  Me!  Who a year ago would not have spoken to strangers, or even been in a studio, to begin with.  I indeed wouldn’t be approaching strangers to see if I can help them embrace their creativity.  (Especially not after being attacked for it by a racist.)  But I knew Stevie Nicks wouldn’t quit, so I didn’t either.

The Queen of Rock has earned her crown a thousand times over.  I’m so proud to be one of her fans.  Just expressing this has lifted me out of the lingering aftermath of a round of depression.  I can’t believe how fortunate I am.  I’m off to practice my bass.

 

 

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