“Not nary a nigga was murdt.”

black girl magic

Welp.  Guitar Hero gave me shit about not updating this blog, so here I go.  I’m a deer in headlights, today.  I had a rough night involving projectile hurling and other biological horrors.  It was my body screaming at me to listen.  I feel much better now, and am thankful I didn’t pass out in the process.  Fortunately, I took my body off ignore, and am heeding.  This is new for me, so I’m working my way through all the mistakes as quickly as possible.  I adjusted my plans so I can stay on pace.  My old habit of rushing just to get things over with is being laid to rest.

I’m surprised by how quickly I managed to get back on track.  I’ve been binge-watching insecure on HBO.  (I’m always late.)  I love it and am so grateful for the InsecuriTea podcast.  I wouldn’t be able to participate without it, which is an incredible understatement.  It’s so perfect to be able to listen to Crissle and Fran talk about what happened, what it may mean, and point out all the things I didn’t manage to take in.  They’re like the autism-friendly feature.  So thoughtful.

The show is rich with information about social interaction and behavior.  I’ve learned so much it’s ridic.  I squeed when I saw Dustin Ross and recognized him instantly, which surprised and delighted me.  (I’ve only seen his photo from The Friend Zone podcast and saw him dance in the studio on a video once.)  He has a brilliant presence on film.  (HBO should throw money at him and watch it multiply.)  When Molly’s therapist mentioned magical thinking, my gut sank to the center of the planet.  Dammit.  I totally think that way and enjoy it.  Sigh.

I have to address it.  My brain won’t even entertain playing since it rang true.  This sucks.  Evidently, step one is checking my attitude, aka, canceling the pity party.  Magical thinking helped me a lot when I felt like I had no control over my life.  But I can’t afford to hold on to habits that no longer serve.  At least I know so I can work on it.  Sigh.  Thank you, magical thinking.  We had some great times, but this is where I leave you.  I’m off to distract myself before a pity party commences without my consent. ✌🏾💜

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