I’m doing surprisingly well. Last week, depression kept attempting to convince me of all sorts of devastating shit (reality through an excessively negative perspective.) I just blocked with balanced fact checks, though, not as confidently as I’d prefer. (At least it worked.) It kept me afloat. Anxiety joined in with her random adrenalin pinches under the table. (I hate that bitch.) Instead of panicking, I maintained my presence and managed my daily tasks.
It was as hard as paying attention after your stamina meter starts flashing red. I did it. (Snapshot, save.) I feel a little itchy like newly built muscles are healing. I love that feeling. (I call it Acquiring Awesome.) Sometimes it’s fantastic being super literal because I usually experience everything twice, once in real-time and once in the replay (to make sure my perspective plays nice with the general consensus.) Heh.
This accounts for part of why I’m experiencing life at a slower pace than many. (I feel no need to delve deeper. Tick tock, yo.) I visited Denver without partaking in recreational weed. It was the entire point of my going. However, I learned the journey is medicine in my case. I didn’t dare dilute it by getting high. I need to reenact the experience several more times before I can pinpoint what I did that was significant.
My purpose was to reset my anxiety and depression. It’s a good thing I’m better at being present, or I would have missed it. My favorite buddy-sitter wasn’t available to hang out with me. (I was using a less trusted substitute.) In hindsight, I see it wasn’t the best plan. Thanks, universe. I suspect the thing I did on this trip that soothed what ailed was to assist another traveler.
I’ve had time to sleep on it, and it still seems likely. I remember how I felt while I escorted an inexperienced flyer to where transportation awaited. It was like my soul was getting tickled, but not too much. Just right. Anxiety didn’t exist during our brief conversation. I even remembered to suggest having a lovely trip when we parted ways. (I may have randomly fist-bumped the sky as I walked to my Lyft.)
It’s not long after that I realized I was feeling like myself again (and didn’t need to go online to find a new black-owned dispensary to try.) I went to an art museum instead. It’s weird how time doesn’t exist inside libraries and museums. Then I had the most fabulous grilled cheese sandwich of my life so far. I looked into the comedy scene and decided to center my next visit around checking it out. T.J. Miller is from Denver. He’s hilarious on Silicon Valley, and I love his website.